Monday, August 27, 2012

Love Bucket...

So when our oldest (who turns 21 tomorrow) was a toddler, his strong point was definitely not communication (who am I kidding, it's still not)!  We contributed many a tantrum to him not being able to express himself. One Sunday our pastor used the term "filling my love bucket" when referring to needing attention. That resonated with us, so we began asking Kellen if he needed his "love bucket filled" when he was very upset but could not tell us why, to which we would give him a big hug if he replied "yes."

Flash forward 10+ years, and we find ourselves using that term frequently with Kaia. Sometimes she will get on a naughty roll and be very emotional. When I finally realize what is happening, I remember to ask her if she needs her "love bucket filled," and she usually replies "yes." I'm telling you, the power of a hug when we most need it is amazing! It can turn her mood around like nothing else. Usually I could kick myself for not resorting to it sooner before I got all frustrated.

Last night Kaia was moping around the house after she accidentally made the puppy yelp when playing with her. She got mad at Cocoa, blaming her for the incident. I reminded Kaia of a similar situation earlier in the day, when I caused her to cry when I bumped her with the seat in the car. Even though it was an accident, I asked for forgiveness and showed compassion for her, something she was not willing to do for the puppy. Instead, her tears were because she was embarrassed and she showed no empathy towards Cocoa.  About 1/2 an hour later, she handed me an envelope with this letter inside....
I loved that she wanted to communicate her needs! In words and pictures it reads, "I want someone to fill my love bucket. I want to be this (smiley face) not this (frowny face). Please!"  Isn't that just the sweetest thing ever? Of course, Mike and I filled her love bucket until it was overflowing, and her mood completely turned around.  It made us feel so good that she recognized the situation and could problem solve for herself. We then went on and helped her remedy the situation with the puppy.

Now I'm thinking we could teach this term to heads of state around the world, and we would have world peace! Just imagine the head of Iraq telling the President of the United States that he needed his love bucket filled. I have warm fuzzies now just picturing their embrace!

No comments: